reality diary

I haven’t been on here for a while just because I have been so busy I haven’t had time to write a txt let alone an entry. The past few weeks have been somewhat unreal me and Matt are officially an item still in the “can’t keep our hands off each other stage” which is lovely. I got some lovely presents for Valentines Day; he’s excellent at buying presents haha. The weekend after valentines, I went with him for a weekend break to his parent’s house in Devon. I have never been so nervous in my whole life but they were so lovely, genuinely nice people they even tried to teach me how to ride a horse. I’ve never rode a horse before the closest I’ve come to horse riding is having a ride on a donkey on blackpool beach when I was 4 so let me tell you a girl from Liverpool whose terrified of any animal bigger than dogs riding a horse for the first time is enough to crack anyone up, it was disastrous. Anyway one of the reasons we went down there was it was his dad’s 60th birthday, and they were holding a massive surprise party for him all was going great I was feeling like I really fitted in. Until just before the party when matt decided to inform me that an ex girlfriend of his was going to be there, well that’s fine because after all it’s a free world (but between you and me I was a little miffed). Then to make matters worse he told me to, well his exact words were “Gracie at this party I want you to believe half of what you see, and nothing what you hear”. I didn’t know what to think then I asked him and at first he just shrugged then when I asked again his reply was “ O know what families’ are like”. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Should I ask him again what he meant? And more to the point why did he say that straight after telling me his ex was going to be there? Does that mean something really bad happened in the relationship? Or they haven’t really split up? There are so many questions and so few answers. I was just waiting for something like this to happen. I’m scared to ask him again because I really am falling in love with him and I’m scared what the answer will be.

I came home a week ago today after a week in the capital, an I’m so pleased to be home I mean I love London always have done, actually think I lived there in a past life but this time I just really really missed my dog and my friends and family(which is strange). Anyway, the last couple of days in London weren’t as bad as the first few and I decided not to take the job in America. I managed to dodge Matt’s calls and texts for about 24 hours (which is quite an achievement), then there was a huge bouquet of flowers delivered to the office with my name on them. At first, I wasn’t bothered then I read the card… Gracie, Please forgive me x x (a man of few word’s I suppose) I still didn’t ring or txt him though but that was mainly because I was so busy I didn’t have time to. Anyway, after work, a few others’s and I went to the little bar opposite our office and Matt was conveniently propping up the bar. I went over and thanked him for the flowers and he ended up joining us, after an hour or so I decided it was time to head back to the hotel (which by now I was calling home). Matt came too he apologized to me for being an complete an utter bastard (his words not mine) I thought that was a bit harsh but I let him carry on he said he had loads off work stuff on his mind and that he shouldn’t of took it out on me. By this point, the tables have turned and I’m being a complete bitch, am lying on the bed with my Pj’s on watching Eastenders and he asked me if I was listening to him and I just lost it, and from nowhere we started having the biggest row ever. Looking back it was quite funny actually, after screaming at each other for what seemed like an eternity I told him to leave, I was tired I wanted to go to sleep and I couldn’t be arsed arguing anymore mainly because I couldn’t remember why we were arguing. He said Gracie I can’t believe that’s just happened I’m falling in love with you grace and I’m not leaving here until we sort this out. To say I was stunned was an understatement I was bloody speechless but Still being a bitch I said go and got up and opened the door, I wasn’t even looking at him when he walked out but then he stopped and said I mean it grace I’m falling for you. The next thing I remember is kissing him on the bed, we made up good and proper, and then it was my turn to apologize for being a complete an utter bitch.